Breaking up with Doubt

Dear Doubt dear John

There’s just no other way to say this: I’m breaking up with you. 

We had a long and not so nice life together. I’m grateful for the security/safety blanket role you played, as designed for this reality. I get it, but you need to know that  I really am breaking up with you now.

Doubt, you are a destructive device that stops me from creating. I chose to let you stop me from ever Being all of Me. I let you totally cut off all the little tentacles of connecting to the infinite possibilities I create when  I start something.This is not working for me. 

I used to think you protected me from making a fool out of myself, from being “too much” or making horrible mistakes. I thought you protected me from over-spending on senseless things I don’t need. I thought you protected me from harms way. I used to think you helped me to me ”fit in”. 

I want to thank you for all the times you kept me feeling “normal”, (as if that was really ever a possibility) I know you had a role to play in my life, but I’m afraid it’s over now! 

I wasted enormous amounts of energy on you, instead of pursuing what I desired to create as my life. I must applaud your sneaky ways. You have been a devious lover, creeping under my skin, undermining my confidence, enticing me to choose co-dependency with you.

But you know what, Doubt? I see how you roll! You come in and I start buying that I’m not good enough, or wondering if I have anything to contribute to anyone. I started to doubt that I know enough, doubt that anyone would like me, doubt that I would ever get it right…it really could have gone on and on for a long time. So many bad relationships do! 

And then one day, I realized that you, doubt…. are a liar! You’ve been lying to me all along!  

I got still and I started asking myself this question: “What if there were no truth in Doubt?”

Just look at yourself Doubt. What are you REALLY designed to do? Help me? Nooooo, that’s the lie I bought as real and true. You are designed to keep me from ever Being All of Me. You almost kept me from ever believing that I am the Gift to the world I truly be. 

Almost. . . 

I am now aware of how we all are a tremendous gift to the world. How the uniqueness that we all are, is what the world requires. And how the universe must like and desire us to be here, otherwise we just would’t be here.

See, Doubt, you make it hard for all of us to know and receive that about ourselves. And I’ve started asking more and more questions and inviting other people to ask them too! Questions like this: 

Would I be willing to treat myself as I should have been treated when I was born, instead of taking on the way I was treated, and adding a bunch of new meanness and Doubt that I assembled a long the way?

What if I was not nearly as fucked up as I thought I was? What if in fact it were the complete opposite? What is so brilliant about me that I have never dared consider, that if I would acknowledge it would change everything?

So Doubt, I’m done using you to stop me from standing out as the brilliance I truly be.

I will now go out into the world, and whenever I sense you sneaking up I will remind you of this day. The day I called it quits with you,  the day I broke up with you. And I will continue without you, more free and lighter and happier than I have been in a long time. And I will choose different lovers: like Nourishment, Happiness, Joy, Sexualness, Caring and other friends too!  When I chose to break up with you, I discovered that they have all been waiting for me! 

And now,  I will have fun being as different as I truly be. 

I wonder what wonderful adventures I will have, choose and create? Whatever they are, Doubt, I’m sorry, but you can’t come with me. 

I’m breaking up with you, and this is my Good bye!

Note:
The processes and questions found in this text are from Access Consciousness which was founded by Gary Douglas and Dr. Dain Heer, and among other things is a set of tools which assist people in becoming more conscious about the way in which they move through the world. You can find more information about Access by visiting www.accessconsciousness.com or by getting in touch with me.

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